Aquarius: The Emotionally Unavailable One
Your independent nature means you’ve never faked an orgasm to save a dude’s ego. You just don’t see the point! Why lie? Instead you try to teach your partners about what you like and don’t like. Every woman after you owes you a great debt, seriously.
You don’t like boring people either, so if a dude’s only back-pocket posish is missionary, you’re outtie, FAST. You’re straightforward about what you want, where you want it, and how you want it, which your partners find super refreshing. It’s also probably why all your exes come crawling back.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: How fast you put your clothes back on afterwards.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: Cuddling afterwards. It’s nice and all, but there’s NOTHING like having the whole bed to yourself after a truly earth-shattering orgasm.
Pisces: The Intuitive One
Damn, Pisces, how’d you just KNOW all this stuff? You’re extremely sensitive and incredibly giving. In fact, you might be a little too giving? It’s good to be compassionate to your partner’s needs and all, but make sure you’re getting off too, please.
You’re also really intuitive and have a knack for knowing exactly what people need to get off. Your partners obvi love that, because you somehow you play their body like a g-dang instrument.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: How lucky they are to have you.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: When he finishes and you don’t, and then he passes out. In an ideal world, everyone would be as sensitive to each other’s needs as you are.
Aries: The Passionate One
You’re a very passionate, goal-oriented lover who only wants one thing: an orgasm. You’ll do whatever it takes to get there.
Your partners love that you always initiate new things to try, whether that means dirty talk, bringing in crazy sex toys, whatever, your open attitude and enthusiasm about things makes your partners feel super supported and lucky to have you.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: Your wildly acrobatic sex.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: When it takes too long for your partner to finish. You can’t help that you’re impatient!
Taurus: The One That’s In It For the Long Haul
Your patience and commitment carry through to the bedroom too, where you continually wow your partners with how dedicated you are to their pleasure. Your partners feel extremely lucky to be with you, especially knowing you’ll never be one to ask “are you almost there?” and risk taking you both out of the moment.
Exotic positions are not really your cup of tea. In fact, you don’t even like it when you switch positions suddenly. But you know, it’s not like your partners are ever complaining 😈.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: What a good kisser you are.
Your Least favorite part about sex: When you’re thisclose to orgasming and they’re like, “let’s try this thing that’s probably only humanly possible if one of us loses an elbow joint.” You gotta invest time in things before they take off!
Gemini: The Kama Sutra Queen
Your indecisive nature can definitely come into play here. Whether it’s partner or position, you’ll always have a ton of options, but for Gemini, the grass is always greener on the other side. Don’t overthink things too much—if you’re feeling yourself, you’re feeling yourself, and if you’re not, you’re not. That said, when you’re able to let go of the wishy-washy-ness, you’re a total bombshell in bed.
Your partners dig how great you are at communicating what you wanna try. You’re not one to be shy about fantasies, which is super hot. Communication + confidence = 🔥.
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Your Partners Won’t STFU About: All those hot roleplay scenarios you’ve cooked up for the both of you.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: It’s awkward explaining that you wanna switch positions after .03 seconds, and even awkwarder trying to explain “No, actually, let’s go back.”
Cancer: The Emotional One
It’s really hard for you to have emotionless, no-strings attached sex. After all, the best sex you’ve ever had is when someone is looking straight into your eyes. You definitely have your insecure moments though, like when you try to trap your partner into answering whether or not you’re the best they’ve ever had. (And if you haven’t asked this already, you’ve definitely wanted to.)
It’s not hard for people to fall in love with you, you’re so charming and witty that you’ve often got more suitors than you know what to do with, but for some reason you can still be insecure. Try to fight that feeling when it creeps up inside you, and just go with the flow.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: How you asked them about their ex-girlfriend right before their pants came off.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: Having to get up to pee afterwards. That’s cutting into precious time you could spend lounging in each other’s arms, still dizzy from your coital ~bliss~ but better UTI-safe than sorry!
Leo: The Theatrical One
Where to even begin? You love sex, have a healthy sex drive, and you love the emotional intimacies that come with it. And your partners love having sex with you (natch)!
What your partners really love is how totally present you are during sex. You love making people feel good, and you especially love it when they recognize that a talent like yours in the sack is not easy to find. Your unbridled self-confidence is really only a boon to both of your pleasure in the bedroom.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: How they feel inferior to you in pretty much every way.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: You have yet to find a mirror that allows you to watch yourself the whole time. Hey, ceiling mirrors are expensive!
Virgo: The Sensitive One
If your partner isn’t like, WIPED OUT, from how good the sex seemed, you take it very personally. You’re also super masochistic in the sense that you often ask for postcoital analysis. Like a football commentator, it’s only a matter of time before you roll over in bed like, “so, how was it?” You’re just trying to learn from your mistakes and become a better partner, duh!
Since you’re kinda shy it takes you a while to open up in bed, but boy, oh boy, are your partners in for a treat when you do.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: Your near-encyclopedic knowledge of all things sex. You somehow know every erogenous zone, the name of every kink, every weird sex tip that exists on the internet somewhere, you’ve memorized it.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: The cleanup.
Libra: The Amazing Sexter
Omg. Stop faking orgasms your orgasms, girl! I know you’re not confrontational, but seriously, stop it! You’re not doing yourself or your partners any favors with those carefully measured moans.
You’re someone who works very well in pairs and partnership is really important to you. You know you get what you give, so you give a lot, and with your everything. That’s why you love (and have such a knack for) sexting. It feels like an equal volley of teasing going back and forth, and your partners are consistently blown away by your way with words.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: Those hot, hot sexts you sent.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: Having to ask for what you want pretty clearly. Why can’t they just know?
Scorpio: The Intense One
Everyone can sense that you’re completely insane in bed from afar, but only your partners are lucky enough to know what sex with you is really like. You exude sex appeal, even when you don’t have to try.
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You’re amazing at foreplay, like actually killer. Sometimes people assume since you’re just this firecracker in bed that you don’t want to cuddle afterwards too, which you do!
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: That thing you do with your tongue. *Shivers*
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: The way some people assume you won’t want anything to do with them afterward—just because you can be intense and direct-to-the-point. Sure, you’re like, a sexual force to be reckoned with, but it’s not like you don’t have feelings, you know?
Sagittarius: The One Who Makes Everyone Crack Up
Sex with you is always fun. Your partners love your sense of humor and how things are seemingly never awkward with you. You’re one of the rare lovers who can crack a smile or a joke during sex without it being totally uncomfortable or at someone’s expense.
Your energy and optimism also make you super sexy to people. You’ve got a tendency of making everyone feel like the most important person in the room.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: How you were ready to go again for round two almost immediately afterwards.
Your Least Favorite Part About Sex: Since you’re so good in bed, you hate that everyone you hook up with will inevitably hit you up again. You just
don’t have the patience for clingy people!
Capricorn: The Fancy One
You also really like expensive sex toys, sexy sheets, nice lingerie. You’re a lovable snob for all things, and that carries over into sex too. And why shouldn’t it? It’s the little things in life that make you happy.
You intimidate the shit out of your partners though. Even if you don’t mean to, you can’t help but come across as a little bit intimidating! What they read as condescending is honestly not? But find the right partner to banter wittily back and forth with, and sparks will FLY.
Your Partners Won’t STFU About: Your lingerie collection. Damn, girl. Seriously, have you ever *not* worn matching underwear?
Least Favorite Part About Sex: Sleeping in anyone’s bed but your own. Sorry but you didn’t buy that fancy bluetooth-enabled, memory foam mattress just to not sleep on it three nights a week.
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